Bad day

This has been by far one of the hardest days I've dealt with in a while.

I'm typing all this with just 3 hours of sleep.

Besides all the drama my coworkers create when they are just working is incredible.

I want to run away and start my life all over again. But I can't I am stuck with the decision.

I feel alone.

I feel sad...
Allan f.

Not happy

You go to sleep and hope for a good nights sleep.

No! Not allowed.

Horrible dreams that wake you up constantly.

Then you get phone calls from work because of other people's incompetence .

What a way to start your day!

D.C

I went to D.C. Last year in may I think.

It was a great trip.

It changed the way I looked at things. It also helped me realize how bad I had it and how it could be so much better.

Hot weather! Humid! Unpleasantly nice.

I got escorted out of a museum :)

Overall it was a life changing trip. I am a better person for it today. It took a lot of courage to make the changes that needed to be made.

Here are some pictures from that trip!

John Doe Retired!

John Doe Retired!

That's right a nameless person that i made conversation for the past year as i went outside for a breather from my job.

Day after day he'd stop and say hi and ask how the day was. He would always have an interesting question about my work place. He never failed to ask " Any famous people living there yet?" and my answer was always "Yes, too many"

Well today as i peeked at the bar across the street to see if my sf giants had won the game he walked by. Dressed in a hawaiian shirt and some kakhi pants. He carried a small brown bag and a cup of coffee. He did not stop but he turned around as he walked and smiled and said " My last day of work for the rest of my life. IM RETIRED!" Lifted his cup of coffee to cheer and walked away to never be seen in this street again.

I could not be happier for the guy. He worked for 45 years for the company and now at the age of 60 odd years he retired. With little energy life has left him he now strolled on home with the hopes to enjoy his lifes savings. Maybe he already paid his house and he is going to do the mundane things all retired people do. Go for a walk to the park. Visit grandchildren. Maybe he doesn't have any grandkids or offsprings. What do you do with that? All that time just awaiting your final breath and hope that you had a good life. Hope that no minute was wasted or lived in vain. Hope that someone you bump into recognizes you from your vibrant youth. What do you do with something like that.

Well for his and all of our sakes i can only hope that we have as much joy as he displayed on this warm summer night as he walked away from his lifes work. We can only hope.

-Allan Fils-Aime

Good Deeds

So I was at work doing the usual. Working...

And a thought popped into my head well more like a day dream. If i won the lottery and that particular week the jackpot was a staggering 160Million. So i started to think of all the things i'd buy and do.

It was an empty feeling because i thought of all the cars i'd get and the amount of houses id buy. All the nice places i'd be able to travel to and all the thigns people can think of I did.

It took no more than 5 minutes to name them all. And then a very weird and empty feeling came over me. It made me think how uneventful and unfulfilling my life could be if I had that kind of money. I couldn't think of anything spectacular and glamorous that could possibly bring me joy for more than months or weeks at a time.

Then this happened.

I go on my lunch break and walk towards Jack in the box. As I'm walking in there is a homeless man asking for money or food at the door. My inmidiate response to this is normally ignore him he just wants money for booze or drugs. So i asked him are you hungry and he said yes could you buy me something to eat please. So i said ok i went in and got him some food and drink. He had the biggest smile and most thankful look on his face.

The emotions that emerged inside of me were so gratifying I could not stop smiling and felt a sense of fullfillment. And thought to my self that it was the best $5 I have ever spent.

So if you ever find yourself down and out try maybe doing something for someone else without any expectations. Give to someone who can't pay you back that way you know your doing it just to be nice and Please don't do it feel that you have power either.

When were old.

So I was at work chit chating with some of the older workers.
The subject of how our lives will be when were 70 years old and how much longer we will have to work until we can actually retire.

We will still have our same jobs as concierge doorman and bellman. walking around with our canes getting doors for people and receiving their phones calls about noise complaints. We will have flying cars and all that great futuristic stuff.

we laughed so hard for so long but there came a moment when we all realized that this actually might happen.

Now that i think about it more it seems that 40 years from now I still won't be able to retire unless I somehow strike it rich.

Anywho I hope I can have some peace and quiet while im still alive on this Earth. Maybe somethign in life will bump into me and it will change the whole course. I might be able to get that ranch i've alwasy dreamed of. Maybe I'll be able to get that Diesel truck that I've been wanting.

Well let's see what life brings and I only hope that it gets better becasue from where I am standing now there is a bleak future ahead.